Out of Control

We are ten days in to James being let go from his job and people are being so incredibly kind and our family and friends are so wonderful and supportive. The natural question I am hearing from those who know us is, "How are you guys doing?" or "How are you holding up?" And it is so weird, but in the last few days my honest answer is, "I am doing great!" I don't mean that sarcastically and I am not walking through all this with rose-colored glasses on not facing reality. I am honestly doing great. And as I reflect on why that is I am coming to some awesome conclusions.

I am a self-proclaimed (and 'other-proclaimed') control freak. I absolutely love to be in control. Those that know me well, know I am a tad hyper-active, can't sit still for long and will MAKE things happen. If I am totally honest, I am also very much driven by fear, where my family is concerned. I will do whatever it takes to control things so my family will be okay. Control and Fear are a very dangerous combination.

What had happened primarily with my thought process (isn't our thoughts where things become most dangerous!) is I thought that if we just led a mediocre, run-of-the-mill kind of life that nothing bad would happen to us. If we weren't trying to live the high-life or live a life that is truly living for the Lord then every one (Satan included) would pretty much forget about us and we could go about our simple little life and that would be that. But trying to maintain that simple little life and control it all actually causes a lot of stress. So we have been balancing the checkbook but just barely, and we have had jobs, but none that fulfilled us or truly met the desires of our heart for our life's work. Our family relationships have been okay but not out-of-this-world great. I am finding that it is really hard to control things.

I am realizing that thinking you are in control really is just a false sense of reality. We truly have NO CONTROL. You can't stop someone from taking your job away from you - even when you are an exemplary employee. There is NO way that James or I could control or stop what happened. It was out of our control.

Let me tell you, being out of control is very freeing. But it is only freeing because I have a heavenly Father who IS in control and He is a good Daddy. I am so grateful for having a Father who loves me and will see us through and is in control, orchestrating and setting plans in motion. And so with that I am actually really excited about our future. Knowing we can't control it means, God can. As we have opened our hands of our future to Him and given it ALL to Him, He can take it and mold it and make it as HE wants it. I wonder how much we held Him back because we wouldn't allow Him to do what He knew was BEST. "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." I Corinthians 2:9 How awesome is that promise!!!!!

Now let me be sure to clarify. I do not believe that we are to sit back on our laurels and just wait for God to move. I am sure He can most certainly do that if He chose to. But I personally think we are to work hard and go after things, but we are to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and His will for our lives and leave the results up to Him. He promises that "ALL these things will be added unto you."

It is not written anywhere in the Bible that "God helps them, who help themselves" (Ben Franklin actually said it), but I do think there is a nugget of truth to the saying. So we are going after everything. James is working tirelessly to apply for jobs, seek help from others and network. BUT in all that James is doing, we absolutely expect God to orchestrate our lives.

In Proverbs 19:21 it says: "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." So we are to go after things, but we are not to seek to be in control of what happens, because it is the Lord's purpose, plan, will for our lives that will prevail.

So if you were to ask me how I am doing, I am honestly doing really good. I have a freedom in knowing that I don't have to control anything. I am just being called to be faithful to Jesus and obedient to what He says. I am finding that focusing on Him that I am absolute peace in this moment. I have never really experienced this kind of peace before, but man am I loving it.

A couple of promises that mean a lot to me right now:

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:6-8)

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:2-5

If you are going through a job loss or some other trial or storm, I would love to encourage you to open your hand to your Heavenly Daddy. He wants to work it all out for you.