Bound and in Jail

I have really been struggling during moments of quiet (thank goodness those have been few and far between!) At times recently it really feels like God has forgotten we are down here. Forgotten that I took this new job with 1/2 the salary of my former job. Forgotten that our insurance runs out the end of August. Forgotten that James STILL doesn't have a job, etc., etc.

I think when walking through the desert it is hard to always maintain an attitude of faith, trust and praise. I am sure the Israelites, after walking through the desert for 40 years, had moments where they definitely weren't feeling the love. And yet, God always provided. Every morning when they woke up...there was the manna on the ground. But I am sure at times they wondered, "Are we there yet? God did you forget we are down here just wandering around in this blasted desert?"

I tend to maintain smiles and be chipper and positive as almost a matter of principle. But there are times when lately the smile is very put-on and not at all where my heart is at that moment. I fake it until I can make it, but sometimes making it is really difficult. This is where I have been the last couple of days. I am frustrated that James isn't having more interviews, I am sad that I can't tell my son and daughter that they can take the dance class or play the sports they want. I am angry at times that it's hard. I'd like for it all to be easier. But after awhile those feelings of frustration, sadness and anger really become a bit like a jail cell.

But I do have to remember that God never promised us that it would be easy. He did promise us that He would always be with us and never forsake us. He did promise that He would provide for our needs, and He most certainly has NOT broken that promise to us.

I was reading recently in the Bible about Paul and Silas (Acts 16). They were flogged and severely beaten, placed in an inner jail cell, chained and bound. Were they frustrated, angry and scared? Possibly, but the Bible doesn't tell us that. What it does say is that in the midst of their horrific circumstances, they chose to worship God and sing hymns to Him. (For me that would not have been an easy choice to make). But praise Him they did. They worshipped their God and King and the most amazing thing happened. A great earthquake happened and their chains and bindings came undone and the doors of their cell flew open. They were free to go. But this was the amazing part, they didn't! They stayed there and continued to worship. The jailer having seen that Paul and Silas' jail cell was open became very upset (to the point of trying to kill himself) because he was sure he would be put to death for having lost the prisoners. But upon seeing Paul and Silas standing there, he accepted Jesus as his Savior as well.

I so want to be like Paul and Silas, when faced with difficult circumstances to chose not to become depressed, sad and frustrated. To chose to worship God! And even when God freed them from the jail they stayed and brought the jailer and his entire family to Jesus.

Paul and Silas walked completely by faith and embraced and embodied the verse: "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12 - 13

It is not always easy to praise Him, though. Sometimes when life gets hard and hopeless it is downright difficult. But we are instructed: Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise--the fruit of lips that confess his name Hebrews 13:15. Sometimes praise in the midst of pain is a sacrifice, but as is true with most sacrifices the end result - the Lord moving on our behalf is worth every bit of the sacrifice as He loosens our shackles and opens the door of the jail cell that is keeping us bondage and moves mightily on our behalf!

Elohim

God is our Mighty Creator - our Elohim. He spoke everything and it came into being. He designed us to change and grow and yet, He remains steadfast. He is our constant, our Rock, our Safe Place.

Let the God who is the same yesterday, today and forever steady your world today. Whatever challenge or change or ups or downs or problem faces you today, allow it to drive you towards the God who never changes, a God so stable and strong you can lean on Him and He will give you strength forever.

Information taken from Praying the Names of God

Moses Math

I received this in an email from my mom. I can't find who originally wrote it but thought it was a great faith reminder!

Here is something to think about next time you have a problem that dims your faith. Try to figure out the math in this without God in the equation! It cannot be done! Moses and the people were in the desert, but what was he going to do with them? They had to be fed, and feeding 2 or 3 million people requires a lot of food. According to the Quartermaster General in the Army, it is reported that Moses would have to have 1,500 tons of food each day. Do you know that to bring that much food each day. Two freight trains each a mile long would be required!

Besides you must remember, they were out in the desert, and they would have to have firewood to use in cooking the food. This would take 4,000 tons of wood and a few more freight trains, each a mile long, just for one day. Just think, they were forty years in transit.

Oh, yes, they would have to have water. If they only had enough to drink and wash a few dishes, it would take 11 million gallons each day. That would require a freight train with tank cars 1,800 miles long, just to bring water! Then consider another thing: They had to get across the Red Sea in one night. If they went on a narrow path, double file, the line would be 800 miles long and would require 35 days and nights to get through. So, there had to be a space in the Red Sea, 3 miles wide so that they could walk 5,000 abreast to get over in one night.

Another problem also faced Moses. Each time they camped at the end of the day, it required a campground about two-thirds the size of the state of Rhode Island, or a total of 750 square miles long. Think of it! This space had to be provided each night for camping. Do you think Moses figured all this out before he left Egypt? I think not! You see, Moses believed in God. God took care of these things for him.

How foolish we are to try and control it and work it out for ourselves and to worry about our situation when we really can't figure it out or it doesn't seem to be going the way we think things ought to go. We are to TRUST God in ALL things.

I have been really convicted lately that my worrying about what is going to happen or is NOT going to happen is SIN. There...I said it. Plain and simple. No ifs, ands, or buts...SIN!

Everything that does not come from faith is sin. Romans 14:23

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

God states that HE works ALL things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose Romans 8:28. So basically either we believe it or we don't. Moses did believe Him!

Frustration and Despair

Today started out as one of those days...A day filled with anxious and fearful thoughts, frustration and a touch and a dollop of doubt and despair. Now I will say that in the eight weeks since James lost his job, I have had incredible peace. I have felt the hand of God all over my family. Our financial needs are being met and life has been trucking along. But today, doubt and anxiety crept in, for both James and me.

What do you do when doubt, frustration, anxiety and despair attacks your faith and your steadfastness? For me, my first response is to fix it. As I've said before, I'm a 'grab the bull by the horns' kind of gal. I come up with a solution and make things happen. But in this situation, there is nothing I can do to fix it. I can't make a job happen. I can't change our situation or our circumstances. All I can do is trust and have faith and have patience. And to say that trust, faith and patience is not my strong suit is an understatement.

James and I were discussing in the kitchen how we were both feeling disheartened and frustrated while my sweet 7-year-old son sat eating his morning cereal. During a break in the conversation, he states, "There is nothing my God cannot do." WOW!!!! I asked him why he said, that, "I don't know, it's a song I like and it just popped in my head and so I decided to say it out loud."

The Lord is so faithful! He took the words of a child to bring this mother to her knees and turn her face from focusing on the situation that is causing anxiety and despair and back where it belongs on her Heavenly Father.

I had stepped out of the boat and started sinking when I took my eyes off of Jesus and focused on the storm that is raging all around me. My focus has got to be on Jesus at all times or I will sink in the muck and the mire of despair and anxiety.

We have no idea when this situation will be worked out, but I do know that God knows. He has been there the whole time, He's not anxious or frustrated or in despair about our situation. MY God is so big, so strong and so mighty...there is NOTHING my GOD cannot do!!!!

After I wrote this blog, I felt that I needed to make sure and include a scripture with my blog, but didn't have one in mind to share. I basically opened my Bible up and this is what the Lord showed me. Awesome, huh???

I waited patiently for God to help me; then He listened and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things He did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in Him. Psalms 40:1-3

Making Plans

I am a planner. I have a compulsive need to plan. Plan out meals, to-do lists, vacations, the future. I am not at all one to just let what happens happen. It drives me crazy. I am not a big fan of surprises or the unknown. I very much go by the motto that preparation breeds success. So I merrily go about my way preparing for what is coming up.

Unfortunately, we can't always prepare for what is coming up next. This season in our lives has taught me this. Never in a million, billion years would I have believed you if you had said James would lose his job. We had joked about how secure our jobs were and how nothing like that could happen to us. Joke was definitely on us. What is a planner to do when she can't plan? Panic (yeah, just a little), Cry (sure, did that too), Trust???(I'm getting there).

I have been thinking about Joseph's story in the Old Testament. Boy, did he have big dreams and big plans. He got that beautiful coat and God told him he would rule many. He was planning for a future that was very bright and big. Then - BAM! his own brothers sold him into slavery. Probably not on the to-do list HE had planned. But being a man of God, he made the most of it and God used him. So I am sure Joseph was making plans again for that great future he had dreamed about. Then - BAM! he was thrown in jail...and for something he didn't do!!! Where was the justice in that? Being in jail, certainly was NOT in his plan for a big and bright future. But then as the story goes, God rose him up from the jail cell and he became the second in command in Egypt and was able to help the Hebrews who were at this point on the verge of starvation from a great famine.

Joseph's story is so awesome to me. I love how what the Lord had shown Joseph about his future was spot-on, but the road with which it took for him to get there and what the end result looked like, only God knew.

When I was in college, a dear friend gave me a verse that I remember often.
"Many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21.

I love how the Message states this verse "We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God's purpose prevails."

My goodness, I do so much brainstorming of options and plans. But even with that it is God's purpose that prevails. Now, I don't think that preparation is at all a bad thing. I think we need to prepare as best we know how with the information we have been given. But I do think we need to give the Lord ample room to move and direct and lead us on HIS path towards HIS purpose. In a word, we need to be flexible!

So as James and I are walking through this season of uncertainty we have really NO idea where God is leading us. We're putting things out there, but definitely learning to allow the Lord to lead. He has the plan, He is directing us and leading us.

What is amazing, is that I am actually learning to be at peace in the uncertainty. For I am CERTAIN of this. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to PROSPER you and NOT to harm you. To give you a FUTURE and a HOPE." Jeremiah, 29:11 God's plans are incredible. So much more than I could ever imagine or hope for.

Finding Joy in the Midst of Change

It has been 6 weeks since James lost his job. What a crazy 6 weeks it has been. Truly has been a roller coaster of emotions. We are just now starting to see some activity in the job search arena. James had his first interview today and it went very well. We are continuing to seek the Lord for HIS perfect plan for our lives and are waiting expectantly for it!!!

I have come to realize something VERY strange this last week. I am truly glad and very grateful that this all happened. We still don't know the outcome or how long it will take to receive the Lord's answer for James' next position, but I am glad we are walking through this. I never thought I'd be saying that!!!

The positive and wonderful changes I have seen in my husband are just awesome! Instead of becoming less confident because of the situation, he has gained confidence. My shy and quiet husband is becoming more talkative and outgoing. He is stepping up to the plate and stepping out in faith. What joy that brings to my heart.

I hate that it took something like this to get me to press into the Lord more, seeking Him out daily in my quiet times. But that is what has happened. I have never been one to want to pray too much, but now I find myself yearning to pray and talk with the Lord. He is showing me things daily and taking me to a deeper level of understanding as I read His Word and seek Him out. My prayer is that even when this is all settled, my walk with the Lord will not diminish, but increase even more!

The grace and the mercies the Lord has shown us has been incredible. We have been blessed so much by our family and friends (I know I have said this before, but WOW what a blessing you all are to me!). The Lord continues to give us so much grace each day. There is much peace in our home in spite of the turmoil - much more peace and grace than there was before this happened.

This verse has been on my heart the last couple of days:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4
What is really crazy is that I never ever got this verse before. I couldn't understand how trials could be considered pure joy. I also wanted to think that I could have the faith I needed without walking through the trials. I am sure that might be possible for some, but I know for me, my faith has deepened through this time.

There is still a ways to go. My salary and state benefits will be cut starting in September (as I begin my new adventure of teaching at the kid's private school instead of the public school where I had been teaching.) We know God put me there before all this happened and we are confident He is working it out. He doesn't ever work in our time, but HIS time is perfect.

I wrote this blog two days before James lost his job. It is amazing to me how God prepares our hearts for things that are about to happen. Gratefully, we are now embracing the change!

My Big God

Walking through the valleys and storms is never easy. We long for and want those mountain top experiences. Lately it seems that so many that are dear to me (myself included) are walking through the valley right now. It is so hard when walking in the midst of a storm to not become fearful or anxious. We play and entertain the "What ifs" and fear moves in and makes itself at home, wrecking havoc in our lives.

Fear is completely Satan's playground. He loves to keep us up at night, ruin our days and make us miserable.

A friend of my husband's, Dave O'Farrell, recently encouraged people to "declare independence from the things of this world and to declare our dependence on God Almighty". I love this!!! God in His graciousness and love and mercy will see each and every one of us through the storms.

Check out this awesome promise:
"For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you." Isaiah 41:13

I just read the verse for the first time recently. I love it!!! God is walking with us hand-in-hand telling us to not be fearful, HE will help us!!!! It is time to stand up and with the Lord fight against the fear and the what ifs and the anxious thoughts that so easily paralyze us

This all reminds me of a song we sing in Children's Church..."My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty, and there is NOTHING my God cannot do." We do have a HUGE God and we must stand and fight and war against the fear and allow God to work on our behalf.

It's time to stopping complaining about how big our storm is, and to start telling the storm how big our God is. Dave O'Farrell